This morning I had no idea what I was going to be inspired to write about. In fact this started out as a private post in my Facebook group Empowered Parents of Special Kids. However, very quickly the words started tumbling out after reading the recent globe and mail article “Stuart Shanker on how to defuse your children’s worst behaviour.”
As I read this article, all I kept thinking was… where were the Stuart Shanker’s when I was parenting an explosive child? My child’s misbehaviour had us in and out of programs like Temper Tamers, in the office of several clinicians and social workers, and talking about my son’s emotional well being at many parent teacher conferences?
Where was Stuart Shanker, whose work I could have quoted, or whose book I could have given as a gift to the teacher who once told me “Your child needs to be on medication. I don’t have 20 minutes after every recess period to pick your child up off the floor because he was called a name on the school yard.”
I needed Stuart Shanker back then to help me understand my child. Maybe, just maybe, things would have been so different in our household 15 years ago. Even with my background in child development, I still didn’t really understand my child’s perceived misbehaviour. I sought extra help because I really didn’t know to help him. I grasped at straws, walked on eggshells and sometimes barely made it through the day.
For those of you with younger children, you now have Stuart Shanker to help you better understand your child emotionally. This can only help you learn to parent and advocate for your child in new ways. I encourage you to read this recent article in the Globe and Mail and perhaps even pick up a copy of his latest book, Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage with Life.
I would have loved to have had this perspective years ago to better understand my child’s misbehaviour. So go ahead and take a look at the article. This isn’t a matter of diagnosis or body chemistry. This research and insight is beneficial to all of us, no matter the age.
In fact you could even gain some insight about yourself as you learn more about self-regulation and what it means to bring yourself back to a state of calm. I believe this type of resource will undoubtedly make you a more empowered parent.
If you would like more support feeling more empowered? Join me in my Facebook group, Empowered Parents of Special Kids. We are a mighty group of parents finding ways to lift ourselves up and overcome barriers as we navigate life as parents of children with unique learning differences.